Midlife Crisis: Rethinking Identity in a Shifting Life Stage

Understanding the Midlife Experience

Between the ages of roughly 40 and 60, many people experience a transitional phase where the goals, roles, and beliefs that once guided them may no longer feel as stable or fulfilling. Children may be growing up or leaving home. Careers may plateau or lose meaning. The body ages, mortality feels more real, and relationships - whether romantic, familial, or social - may change or end. This stage can bring feelings of grief, regret, dissatisfaction, or anxiety. But it can also lead to growth, creativity, and a reimagining of the self. For some, midlife is a time of crisis. For others, it is a turning point and a chance to reassess and realign.

Beyond the Stereotype

Popular culture often portrays the midlife crisis as a joke. A sports car. A new haircut. A dramatic affair. But these caricatures trivialise what can be a complex psychological process.

The underlying reality may involve:

• A sense of lost time or missed opportunities
• Disconnection from earlier aspirations
• Grief over ageing or life changes
• Questions about purpose, spirituality, or legacy

For people of colour, immigrants, LGBTQ+ individuals, or those who have faced systemic injustice, midlife may also involve confronting the cumulative impact of years spent navigating external expectations, survival pressures, or identity silencing.

Mental Health and Midlife

Midlife is associated with increased vulnerability to mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, and existential distress. Research shows a “U-curve” of life satisfaction, where happiness often dips in midlife before rising again in later years (Blanchflower & Oswald, 2008). Despite this, many people struggle in silence, especially those who feel they “should” be settled or successful by now. Shame and isolation can deepen when internal struggles do not match external appearances. Men, in particular, may find it harder to speak about emotional changes due to societal norms around masculinity.

Reframing the Crisis

Not every emotional shake-up is a crisis. In fact, what feels like collapse may actually be an invitation to transformation. Psychologists like Carl Jung described midlife as a period when the “false self” begins to fall away, making room for a more authentic identity to emerge.

With the right support, people can use this time to:

• Reconnect with forgotten passions or values
• Make meaningful changes in relationships or work
• Explore spirituality or creativity
• Cultivate self-compassion and let go of outdated narratives

My Commitment

I know what it means to question your path in midlife because I have lived it myself. My own version of a “midlife crisis” wasn’t loud or dramatic. It was quiet and deeply personal. It looked like going back into study as a mother of two, at a stage of life when many around me were slowing down or settling in.

In the community I come from, women are often expected to sacrifice their ambitions for the sake of family. There is unspoken pressure to stay in place, to remain dependable, to stop wanting more. Choosing to return to education felt, at times, like pushing against all of that. It was both liberating and frightening. There were days when I questioned if I had made a mistake. I doubted myself, wondered if I had left it too late, or if I was being selfish for wanting something beyond the roles I already held. But deep down, I knew this decision was about honouring myself, not abandoning others.

This experience has shaped how I work with people in moments of change. I understand what it feels like to carry uncertainty alongside commitment, and to rebuild identity in the middle of life, not at the start. I do not believe that transformation has an age limit. I believe in second or third beginnings, in shifting paths, and in the quiet power of choosing yourself, especially when it is hard.

If you’re in that space of questioning, know this: it is never too late to listen to your own voice. What may feel like crisis can also be the beginning of something deeply meaningful. Start your healing journey from a place of understanding. Reach out to Amaanah Wellbeing for compassionate, culturally grounded mental health support tailored for British Muslims and South Asians.